юмор
ДЕНЬ СВЯТОГО ВАЛЕНТИНА - КРАСНЫЙ ДЕНЬ КАЛЕНДАРЯ Где мы девочек этих украли? ИЩИТЕ ДЕВОЧКУ А любовь рассудила иначе, Но с годами ты стала, гляжу я, •••
Пароход затем отчалил, С ПРИЧЕСКАМИ НЕ РАССТАВАЙТЕСЬ! Молодой и глупый в доску, Пароход затем отчалил, Безголовый и безусый, И дождался я награды - •••
Я и тогда - плебейской крови зов!- Римма Казакова ЭВОЛЮЦИЯ ЛЮБВИ О юность! Мягкий бархатный пушок,
Остальные произведения В.Туровского можно
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Игорь Копельницкий, ...Недавно я получил письмо, которое называется «Instructions for life». Так родилась эта пародия, которую я предлагаю читателям YSR.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE 1.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2.Memorize your favorite poem. 3.Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. 4.When you say, «I love you», mean it. 5.When you say, «I'm sorry», look the person in the eye. 6.Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7.Believe in love at first sight. 8.Never laugh at anyone's dreams. 9.Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. 10.In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. 11.Don't judge people by their relatives. 12.Talk slowly but think quickly. 13.When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, «Why do you want to know?» 14.Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 15.Call your mom. 16.Say «bless you» when you hear someone sneeze. 17.When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 18.Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions. 19.Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 20.When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps. 21.Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. 22.Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. 23.Spend some time alone. 24.Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. 25.Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 26.Read more books and watch less TV. 27.Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time. 28.Trust in God but lock your car. 29.A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home. 30.In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. 31.Read between the lines. 32.Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. 33.Be gentle with the earth. 34.Pray. There's immeasurable power in it. 35.Never interrupt when you are being flattered. 36.Mind your own business. 37.Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss. 38.Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. 39.If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction. 40.Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck. 41.Learn the rules then break some. 42.Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other. 43.Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 44.Remember that your character is your destiny. 45.Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. Now, here's the FUN part ! Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve. 0-4 people: Your life will improve slightly. 5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking. 9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks. 15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape. INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE 1. Give people less money than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem «Money, money, money....» 3. Don't believe all you hear! Save all you have! 4. When you say, «I love you», mean «I fuck you» 5. When you say, «I'm sorry», strike the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six years before you get married. 7. Believe in love of money at first sight. 8. Alwais laugh at anyone's dreams. 9. Love money deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. 10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Name calling to IRS. 11. Do judge people by their fucking relatives. 12. Talk slowly but think quickly. 13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, don't answer. 14. Remember that great love of money and great achievements to get money involve great risk. 15. Call your mom and ask money. 16. Say «go to hell» when you hear someone sneeze. 17. When you lose, don't lose the money. 18. Remember the two R's: Respect for self; Respect for money; 19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great money. 20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to cancelyour chek. 21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear that you are rich. 22. Don't marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will boring you. 23. Spend some time and money alone. 24. Don't open your arms to change, don't let go of your values. 25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best capital. 26. Read more checking books . 27. Live a good, rich life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time. 28. Trust in God but lock your car and safe deposite box. 29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Live alone. 30. In disagreements with loved ones, return to p.29. 31. Read between the numbers. 32. Don't share your knowledge. 33. Be gentle with the earth.Buy it. 34. Pray for money . There's immeasurable power in it. 35. Mind your own business. 36. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you give them money. 37. Once a year, go bank you've never been before. 38. If you make a lot of money, put it to use doing more money. 39. Remember that not getting what you want is a amount of money. 40. Learn the rules then break all. 41. Remember that the best relationship is one where your have separate acount. 42. Judge your success by how much you had to give up in order to get it. 43. Remember that your character is your money. 45. Now, here's the FUN part ! Send this to at least 500 people and ask them to send to you $1 |